


(Not So Different) From Before

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Prompt Fills 2018 [17]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 17:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14406654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: Written for the domesticity comment_fic prompt: "Stargate Atlantis, Evan Lorne/Ronon Dex, baking brownies for Rodney's birthday."Evan bakes brownies for little Rodney's (thirty-)seventh birthday. Everyone handles Rodney's new state in different ways, except for John. John is simply...not there.





	(Not So Different) From Before

“You haven’t come to bed.” Ronon stood in the doorway of the kitchen, arms cross over his chest.

Evan stood at the counter, stirring something in one of his bright blue mixing bowls. “Rodney’s birthday is tomorrow.”

“I know,” Ronon said. “The whole base knows.”

“I’m making him brownies. The extra special kind. The ones with chunks of dark chocolate and blueberries that he really likes. Special-ordered the ingredients on the  _ Daedalus _ months ago.”

“That could have waited till the morning,” Ronon said. “Tomorrow’s your designated Sunday. And mine.”

Neither of them talked about the fact that it was also Sheppard’s, because he’d arranged it specially so, also months ago.

“I just - couldn’t sleep,” Evan said.

Ronon moved to stand beside him. “You’re gonna need it. Tomorrow will be long.”

Evan and Ronon and Teyla had planned a full day of festivities for Rodney’s birthday - jumper trip to the mainland, fun times on the beach, a big celebratory lunch complete with brownies and candles for him to blow out. Teyla had arranged for some other Athosian children to be present as well, so Rodney would have more playmates than just Ronon, Evan, and Teyla.

“Yeah. I know. Just - it’s been five weeks. And no one’s found an answer. And I just keep thinking,  _ Rodney could figure it out. _ But Rodney’s here, and he can’t because -”

Because he was a child. He’d pushed John out of the way of a blast when an Ancient device activated unexpectedly offworld, been caught in the bright blue light.

And now he was all of six years old, still a mad genius, still with some of his adult memories, but at the heart of it all, a child. The only adults whose authority he’d submit to longterm were Ronon, Evan, and Teyla - and Sheppard, but Sheppard was always gone these days.

Absent.

Busy. 

Escorting scientists offworld, leading SAR, heading up another exploration mission, doing jumper training. He’d picked up a lot of Evan’s duties, and Evan had picked up new duties.

Taking care of Rodney. Making sure he was bathed and fed and dressed every morning, supervising him in the labs when he was trying to boss Zelenka and Kusanagi around, making sure he had healthy food with lunch, taking him to run around the pier that several Marines had set up as a playground for him, complete with slides and monkey bars and whatever else they’d been able to engineer. Making sure he had things to do to keep him busy when he no longer had the attention span for the lab, making sure he had dinner and brushed his teeth, telling him stories at bedtime (but not singing him songs, because he was a terrible singer - singing was for Teyla and Ronon).

Being there for him when he woke in the middle of the night, weeping from nightmares of being eaten by a whale.

John Sheppard couldn’t be expected to parent the tiny boy who had, as an adult, been his lover.

So Evan did it instead.

The problem was that Rodney still loved John. It was a different kind of love: hero-worship, curiosity, affection - as affectionate as little Rodney could be, prickly and defensive and always sure everyone was judging him, criticizing him, that they disliked him.

Rodney didn’t understand why John never had time for him.

Evan explained, over and over again, that Colonel Sheppard was very busy doing colonel things, and he’d play when he had time - if he had time.

Rodney had fast figured out that John would never have time for him.

“Zelenka will figure it out,” Ronon said. “Or Rodney might. He’s still super smart. He’s just - little.”

Evan kept stirring. “Yeah. You should get to bed. In case Rodney wakes up or needs something. I’ll only be about an hour or so. Oven’s already preheating.”

Ronon eyed his lover, reading the exhaustion - emotional and physical - in every line of his body. “An hour,” he said, turning to go. “And then I’m coming back for you. I’ll even do the - the caveman thing.”

That earned him a smile, if a small one. The first time Ronon had slung Evan up over his shoulder and carried him back to his quarters, Evan had been surprised and embarrassed - and turned on, once they were alone.

Before Ronon made it to the door, his radio crackled to life.

“Ronon, Lorne, we need you to residential, ASAP!” It was Teldy. She sounded panicked.

Ronon had heard yelling and crying in the background.

Rodney.

Evan dropped what he was doing, and they took off running to the nearest transporter.

When they arrived, there was a crowd gathered in the corridor outside their quarters, officers and Marines in pajamas and various states of undress. Rodney’s piping child’s voice was raised in a furious shriek that was punctuated by sobs.

Ronon bellowed wordlessly, and the crowd parted. Evan shot past him, dropped to his knees, gathered a red-faced and squalling Rodney into his arms.

Rodney struggled and writhed in Evan’s grip, pummeling him with tiny fists. It took Ronon a moment to figure out what he was trying to say.

John.

He wanted John.

He was scared and he wanted John.

Evan scooped him up, held him even though he was really too big for it, rocked him. To Teldy he said, “Where’s Sheppard?”

“He’s offworld.”

Rodney wanted John and he wanted him  _ now. _

“I’m sorry,” Evan said, voice low and soothing. He was patting Rodney’s back, trying to disrupt his sob-hiccups so he could breathe normally. “John’s not here. He can’t be here. Not till his mission is done.”

Rodney buried his face against Evan’s neck, sobbing wetly. “I want John.”

Evan looked at the others who were gathered. “Nothing to see here. Move along.”

“He woke us up,” one disgruntled Marine said.

“Rack in,” Evan snapped, and the Marine blinked at the fury in his voice, scurried away.

Rodney whimpered, and Evan resumed patting his back, making wordless soothing sounds.

“No, sorry buddy, I’m not mad at you. You want to stay with me and Ronon tonight?”

Ronon had planned on fucking Evan into exhaustion so he could relax a bit and actually sleep. He scrapped those plans and stepped in, wrapped his arms around Evan and Rodney both, held them, rocked them.

“We’re here for you, buddy.”

“You’re not John,” Rodney pouted.

“I know,” Ronon said. 

“Don’t wanna sleep. Bad dreams.”

Evan sighed.

Ronon thought for a moment. “You wanna help us bake brownies? For your birthday tomorrow.”

Rodney lifted his head. “Brownies?”

Ronon nodded.

Rodney eyed him. “With dark chocolate chunks and blueberries?”

Ronon nodded again.

“Okay.” Rodney squirmed, and Evan set him down on his feet.

He offered Rodney a hand, so Ronon offered him one too, and together they trundled for the nearest transporter back to the kitchens.

With Rodney helping, baking the brownies took rather more than an hour. He fell asleep before they were finished in the oven, so Evan gathered him up, took him back to their quarters after Ronon offered to stay behind and clean up.

Ronon was just setting the pan of brownies on a wire rack to cool when someone entered the kitchen behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder. It was Sheppard.

“Hey,” Sheppard said.

“Hey.”

“Heard Rodney had an - incident.”

Ronon shrugged. “He was upset. He wanted you. You were gone.”

Pain crossed Sheppard’s face. “He okay now?”

“We took care of it.”

“Thank you.”

“His birthday’s tomorrow.”

“He’s been reminding everyone for weeks.” John smiled faintly. Rodney had, with Evan’s help, made a massive calendar that covered a third of a wall in the main lab, and he’d marked it every day for his birthday countdown. Seven was a big deal. Seven meant his first grade at school. Only he’d already kind of done school, hadn’t he?

“Not so different from before,” Ronon said.

John’s smile vanished.

“We’re going to the beach on the mainland. Jinto and Wex and some of the other kids will be there. You should come,” Ronon said.

John shook his head. “No. But - give this to him.” He set a neatly-wrapped parcel on the counter, turned, and walked away.

Ronon watched him go and wondered what he and Evan could do to get him to stay.

The next day, Rodney ran around in the sun and splashed in the waves and played with the other children, blew out his birthday candles and listened while they sang him songs and made a big production of opening up his presents. He loved the little Commodore 64 Evan had found for him, just like one he’d had in his first childhood, and the triple-barreled shotgun Ronon had found for him, because he liked things that made loud noises and caused bright explosions.

Sheppard had given him a little kaleidoscope.

Rodney sat looking through it for a long time, turning it and turning it and turning it, long after the other children finished their food and ran back out to the water to play.

He insisted on saving a piece of brownie for John.


End file.
